It never fails to amuse me – I go out for an evening with friends to visit the local casino, and as soon as we walk in the door they’re making snide remarks about all the slots players. My friends mock them for playing a game with such a huge house edge or a game purely based on luck. These same friends then head off to the Blackjack tables to martingale their mortgages away.
I really don’t get it – what’s so wrong with slot machines? Sure the house is going to win – but isn’t that the case with all games? I’d like to take some time to defend slots for a second, with my top ten reasons as to why Slots are Awesome:
#1: They’re Simple.. You don’t need to sit there and stare at a strategy card every 5 minutes, or attempt to try and keep up with what cards have already been dealt in a poor attempt at card counting. You just spin the reels and hope you get lucky. And if you don’t? You spin them again.
#2: There’s a wide variety of slot machines to choose from. Ever wanted to play Blackjack with a twist? You can’t. The biggest “twist” that comes with Blackjack is games with sidebets like “40-1 you get dealt two jacks of spades”. With slot machines you can play slots with bonus games, progressive jackpots, 5-line, 30-line, 1 line, classic slots, video slots -there’s an incredible variety of slot machines to play. Oh and guess what? You can leave one slot machine and hit up the next slots machine with ease – no rules or strategy needed yet. Just sit down and spin.
#3: They cost however much you want. Most table games offer a minimum bet. Not so at slots. With slots you can sit down at a high roller slot machine doing $1000 a spin, or sit at a penny slot machine betting just one cent per spin. Slots accommodate players with all bankrolls.
#4: Progressive Jackpots. Now sure some table games have progressive jackpots – but nowhere in the region of slot machines. It’s almost more difficult to find a slot machine that doesn’t have a progressive jackpot, than one that has.
#5: Your life can change in a split second. See #4. The only way your life can change at a game like Roulette is if you take everything you own and bet it in one spin of the roulette wheel. In slots you can be playing the way you normally play and then boom – suddenly you’ve just won $200k.
#6: You won’t get stabbed in a dark alley by a fellow slots player. Ever been playing Blackjack late at night, tired and a little bit drunk, and “hit” when you should have “stood”? Yeah – that person beside you screaming in your ear is someone you do not want to meet outside the casino later on. Meanwhile in slots if you hit the nudge button accidentally, the people next to you aren’t going to care.
#7: It’s relaxing. It really is. Slots are such a relaxing game to play. You can sit back, spin away at the slots and chat to a friend, or watch the boxing on the big screen TV. Try watching boxing while playing craps.
#8: Great rewards. Go play at a blackjack table for a few hours, and play at a slot machine for a few hours, then see which one gives you the best comps. Slots players get the best comps by far out of every casino player.
#9: It’s quick. No waiting for other players. No waiting for the wheel to spin, or the dealer to pay everyone out. Just keep spinning and spinning as fast or as slow as you want – then when you’re done, you get up and leave.
#10: It’s fun. Really, it is. Slots are noisy. And bright. With flashing lights. And cool icons. Slots are a blast – watching those first two BAR icons lining up just perfectly, then seeing the one BAR icon in the third column appear just shy of the payline. Then looking down, and realizing you have one nudge left.
Man, that’s the type of thing dreams are made of.
So next time you’re at a casino don’t make snide comments about the slots players – hell, sit down and join them for a couple of spins.
You may just enjoy it.